AUSRALIA...PART ONE OF MANY.

6.2.08.
12.20AM...WAITING FOR TAXI...CHECK IN GONE PRETTY SMOOTH...FEW FORMS TO FILL IN...JUST TO SAY I'M NOT CARRYING A SUB MACHINE GUN OR LOADSA DRUGS OR A RARE SNAKE...DABATABLE!...IF YOU GET MY DRIFT!...SILLY QUESTIONS REALLY...AS IF I'D CARRY ANY OF THEM...I GIVE NU ALL THE GOOD STUFF TO CARRY...THEY WOULDN'T SUSPECT HER!
1.00AM...THE GIRL SITTING NEXT TO ME IS A RIGHT FIDGET...SHE'S THROWN THE BLANKET OVER HERSELF...BUT HALF OF ITS LANDED ON ME!...SHE'S FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME CONTROL ON THE ARM REST...HER RIGHT LEG IS IN MY LEG SPACE!
1.20AM...I THINK I WAS ASLEEP...NOW I'VE GOT WHISTLING IN MY EAR...HER BLOW UP PILLOW IS NOW DEFLATING!...I'M QUITE AWAKE NOW...THANKS!
1.30AM...FREE SMALL BOTTLE OF RED WINE...THANKS.
1.45AM...FOOD...LAMB CURRY/PIECE OF CHEESE WITH BUN/TOBERONE/CUPPA COFFEE...QUANTAS I RECOMMEND!
2.10AM...ANOTHER RED WINE...QUANTAS DOUBLEY RECOMMENDED!
2.50AM...I THINK I'M ASLEEP.
3.15AM...SHE'S NUDGED ME...SHE NEEDS THE LOO...SOME PEOPLE!
4.30AM...LANDED SAFELY.
5.05AM...VERY SLOW THRU IMMAGRATION...DECLARED MY LITTLE WOODEN PIG...NAMED PAI.
5.50AM...CUPPA COFFEE.
7.00AM...STILL SITTING IN AIRPORT.
7.30AM...BUS TO PERTH CENTRE...30 DOLLARS...THE DRIVER IS QUITE A JOVIAL CHAP.
8.15AM...DROPPED US OF AT PLACE THAT HAD BEEN RECOMMENDED TO US.
8.25AM...THE PLACE AS NO ROOMS AVAILABLE.
10.00AM...BY NOW WE HAD KNOCKED ON SEVERAL DOORS...PERTH IS CRAMPED WITH BACKPACKERS!
10.30AM...FOUND A ROOM...HOW DIRE IS DIRE!...THIS ROOM IS PURE DIRE...WE'VE BEEN ACROSS ASIA TO SUPPOSEDLY POORER COUNTRIES...BELIEVE ME PERTH ACCOMADATION IS BORDERING ON 3RD WORLD!
11.00AM...BAGS GETTING HEAVIER AS WE TROOP ON.
11.15AM...COFFEE BREAK...WE DECIDE WE WILL HIRE A SMALL CAR AND DRIVE TO FREMANTLE...ABOUT 20KM OUTA TOWN.
11.40AM...TAKE A FREE BUS...BLUE CAT...TO OTHER SIDE OF TOWN WHERE ALL THE CAR RENTAL PLACES ARE.
12.20PM...OFF THE BUS WE GET...SPOT A BACKPACKERS...GONNA TRY MY LUCK.
12.30PM...NO ROOM...DECIDE TO LEAVE NU AND BAGS ON STEPS...I CAN MOVE SWIFTER THEN...NU NEEDS TO REST...SO ITS FOR THE BEST.
12.50PM...HAY STREET BACKPACKERS...YES THEY HAVE A ROOM...65 D0LLARS A NIGHT...[45PENCE TO A DOLLAR]...IT'LL DO!
1.10PM...GIVING NU THE GOOD NEWS.
1.40PM...IN OUR 'NEW' ROOM.
2.20PM...SHOWER...DID I NEED THAT!
3.15PM...KEBAB...DID I NEED THAT!
4.30PM...BACK IN ROOM...ASLEEP...DO I NEED THAT!
10.00PM...AWAKE...CUPPA TEA.
11.00PM...BACK TO BED.


7.2.08.
9.00AM...AWAKE...CUPPA TEA...RAIN POURING DOWN.
9.30AM...SHOWER.
10.10AM...WENT TO SHOPS...NEED MILK/CORNFLAKES.
11.15AM...TAKE BUS TO CENTRE OF PERTH
11.50AM...BUYING ASIA PHONE CARD...RAIN POURING.
12.30PM...HOT CHOCALATE/COFFEE.
1.10PM...ENQUIRING ABOUT BUYING A NEW CAMERA.
2.00PM...CHICKEN SALAD COB...RAIN POURING.
2.40PM...BOUGHT UMBRELLA.
3.00PM...WALKING AROUD PERTH CENTRE.
4.00PM...ENQUIRING AT BANK ABOUT HOW WE WOULD GO ABOUT GETTING A LARGE SUM OF MONEY OUT OF OUR ACCOUNT IF WE WANT TO BUY A VEHICLE.
5.00PM...BACK ON FREE BUS...RAIN POURING.
6.10PM...BACK IN OUR 'NEW' ROOM.
7.00PM...LOCAL SUPERMARKET...I'M COOKING TONIGHT!
8.15PM...MINCE MEAT/CARROT/ONION/PEAS/MASHED SPUD.
9.10PM...TUMMY CONTENT...WELL FULL.
9.20PM...CUPPA TEA.
10.05PM...BOTTLE OF BEER OR TWO.
11.00PM...BED.


8.2.08.
10.00AM...SLEPT IN...GOT A BUSY DAY AHEAD.
10.20AM...SHOWER.
10.40AM...CUPPA TEA.
11.15AM...CUPPA TEA/CORNFLAKES.
11.40AM...PHONED A COUPLRE OF NUMBERS ABOUT VANS...NO JOY.
11.55AM...ON FREE BUS TO NORTHBRIDGE...THERE ARE A LOT OF BACKPACKERS PLACES THERE AND YOU GET A LOTTA PEOPLE SELLING VANS.
12.50PM...IN AND OUT OF HOSTELS...RINGING NUMBERS...NOT HAVING MUCH SUCCESS...GOTTA MEET AN IRISH CHAP AT 3.30PM...HE WANTS 4000 DOLLARS FOR HIS MAZDA...WE'LL SEE...ALSO A GERMANY CHAP SELLING HIS VAN...GONNA CALL US BACK...NOTHING I FEEL GOOD ABOUT THOUGH...WERE TOLD THEY WOULD BE QUEUEING UP TO SELL US THERE VANS.
2.05PM...THE SHED...PUB/RESTAURANT...BEER/STEAK SANDWICH.
3.00PM...BACK ON FREE BUS...HEADING HOME.
3.30PM...WAITING FOR IRISH CHAP WITH VAN TO SELL.
4.05PM...IRISH CHAP TURNS UP...HE WANTS 4000 DOLLARS FOR THIS!
4.20PM...HE SOON TELLS ME HE'S OPEN TO OFFERS...I'LL ACCEPT 3,500 HE PIPE'S!
4.45PM...TOLD HIM I WOULD THINK ABOUT IT...DON'T WANNA HURT HIS FEELINGS...IF HE'D DROP IT TO 1,500 I MIGHT MAKE A PURCHASE...DIDN'T SAY THAT MIND...HE'S A BIT BIGGER THAN ME!...MIND YOU...WHO ISN'T!
5.20PM...PHONED A GERMAN GIRL WHO'S SELLING...I HAD TRIED EARLIER...BUT HER PHONE WAS ALWAYES ENGAGED.
5.40PM...WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO SEE GERMAN GIRLS VAN VIA FREE BUS.
6.20PM...WITH GERMAN GIRLS AND VAN...ITS VERY GIRLIE...NU LOVES IT...THEY WANT 4000 DOLLARS.
7.00PM...HAVING DRIVEN IT AND CHECKED IT OUT WILLIS STYLE...WE AGREE 3,800...BUT WE CAN'T HAVE IT TILL THE 25TH FEB...OUCH...NU DOESN'T CARE...NU WANTS THE VAN...ITS VERY CLEAN AND TIDY...MEETING THEM TOMORROW TO SORT OUT PAPERS.
7.45PM...IN PUB...A WELL NOISY PUB...CELEBRATING WITH BEER/T BONE STEAK/CHIPS/SALAD.
9.30PM...WALKING BACK TO OUR ABODE.


9.2.08.
9.30AM...COMFY BED...ENJOYABLE NIGHTS SLEEP.
9.50AM...COFFEE.
10.10AM...SHOWER.
10.35AM...CORNFLAKES/COFFEE.
11.30AM...WAITING FOR GERMAN GIRLS...GOTTA SORT OUT PAPERS AND CONTRACT FOR HAND OVER OF VAN IN TWO WEEKS TIME.
12.10PM...GERMAN GIRLS ARRIVE...THEY REALLY ARE NICE GIRLS.
12.40PM...CONTRACT SORTED AND EVERYONE HAPPY.
1.10PM...IN SUPERMARKET...CHEESE/BACON/TIN TOMATOES/BEANS/COKE/MILK.
2.00PM...WHERE WE ARE STAYING AS A POOL...SO NU HAPPY IN THE DIP...ME TRYING MY BEST TO LOSE AT POOL!
3.30PM...UB40 ARE IN TOWN...WE ARE ABOUT 10MINS WALK FROM STADIUM...WALK DOWN TO ENQUIRE ABOUT TICKETS.
3.55PM...117 DOLLARS A TICKET...[45 PENCE TO A DOLLAR]...I THINK NOT!
5.00PM...CHEESE/ONION SANDWICH.
6.00PM...WATCHING 10 MOST EXPENSIVE DIVORCE PAYOUTS OF ALL TIME ON TELE...HOW DID LIFE GET THIS EXCITING!...ENGLISH FOOTIE KICKS OFF AT MIDNIGHT.


10.2.08.
10.30AM...WOKEN BY NU BRANDISHING A CUPPA TEA...2.30AM I GOT TO BED!...COMMANDEERED THE TV ROOM...KICKED ALL THE FORIEGNERS OUT!
11.10AM...SHOWER...TRYING TO WAKE UP.
12.05PM...APPARENTLY WE ARE OF TO THE WESTERN AUSTRALIAN MUSEUM...WHOOPEE!...APPARENTLY I AGREED TO THIS YESTERDAY...CAN'T REMEMBER.
12.40PM...WALKING ALONG SWAN RIVER.
1.10PM...ICECREAM...A TRIPLE DIPPLE!
1.50PM...JUMP ON FREE BUS TO MUSEUM.
2.20PM...MUSEUM...FREE OF CHARGE...JUST A DONATION REQUIRED.
2.50PM...LOTS OF ANCIENT ARTEFACTS...I DON'T THINK NU AND I LOOKED OUTA PLACE!
4.40PM...CAN OF COKE...COULD DO WITH A LINE...BACK ON BUS TO TOWN CENTRE.
4.55PM...GOTTA WALK ABOUT 1KM FROM TOWN CENTRE TO OUR ABODE...TURNED OUT TO BE A PLEASANT WALK.
5.35PM...CHEESE/ONION SANDWICH...AN OCEON OF COKE...WELL DRY...SUN TORMENTING.
6.40PM...LYING ON BED.
7.35PM...PHONED MOTHER IN ENGLAND.


11.2.08.
7.00AM...ALARM.
7.20AM...SHOWER.
7.40AM...CUPPA TEA...PACKING.
8.15AM...CUPPA TEA/BACON SANDWICH.
9.00AM...NO BIRDS...NAME OF RENT A CAR PLACE...SEVEN DAYS RENTAL...100 QUID...TOYOTA COROLLA.
9.30AM...ON WAY TO FREMANTLE...GOT LOST!
10.20AM...FREMANTLE AT LAST!
11.00AM...1ST CAMPSITE...NOT SURE.
11.30AM...2ND CAMPSITE...MAYBE...NOT SURE.
12.10PM...3RD CAMPSITE...2 WEEKS IN A CHALET...ABOUT 40 QUID A NIGHT...KITCHEN/LOUNGE/2 BEDROOMS/BATHROOM/TV...EVERYTHING YOU NEED...OK IT'LL DO!
1.30PM...SUPERMARKET.
3.30PM...FRIDGE BURSTING...FOOD OVERFLOWING!
4.00PM...NU SWIMMING.
5.30PM...HOME MADE SPAG BOL.
7.20PM...ON VARANDA...OUR CHALET IS UNDER A BIG OLD NUT TREE...BIRDS OF MANY COLOURS/SIZES DROPPING EMPTY SHELLS ON OUR TIN ROOF...NOISEY DEVILS...NEED A BRANDY AND COKE.


12.2.08.
9.30AM...SITTING ON SIDE OF BED...NEED A CUPPA...BIT DRY.
9.45AM...SHOWER.
9.55AM...CUPPA TEA.
10.20AM...CORNFLAKES/TOAST/CUPPA TEA.
11.00AM...IN CAR ON WAY TO ROCKINGHAM BEACH.
11.50AM...OUTSKIRTS OF ROCKINGHAM...PARKED UP BY BEACH.
12.05PM...WALKING ALONG BEACH.
12.35PM...FISH AND CHIPS.
1.45PM...ROCKINGHAM SHOPPING CENTRE...EVERY SHOP YOU REQUIRE...SELLING EVERYTHING YOU REQUIRE...LOOKING AT WHAT WE MIGHT NEED WHEN WE GET THE VAN...DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU AUSTRALIA IS CHEAPER THAN ENGLAND...IT IS NOT...WHETHER YOU ARE BUYING A PLASTIC BUCKET,MARS BAR,MINCE MEAT,A LOAF OF BREAD...I PROMISE YOU AUSTRALIA IS FAR MORE EXPENSIVE THAN ENGLAND...ACTUALLY,ALTHOUGH I'VE ONLY BEEN IN PERTH,AUSTRALIA FOR ONE WEEK...MY INITIAL THOUGHTS ARE THAT THERE IS LITTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ENGLAND AND OZ...THERES IMMIGRANTS EVERYWHERE...GRAFITTI EVERWHERE...BOY RACERS...STREET FIGHTING...EQUAL AMOUNT OF BAD NEWS ON TV...OZ AS GOT ITS RAPISTS AND MURDERERS THE SAME AS ENGLAND...THE HOUSE PRICES ARE ABOUT THE SAME AS ENGLAND...THE ONLY THING AUSTRALIA AS DIFFERENT TO ENGLAND IS THE WEATHER...AND THAT ONLY BRINGS MORE INSECTS...DON'T GET ME WRONG I'M NOT PUTTING AUSTRALIA DOWN...I HAVEN'T SEEN ENOUGH OF IT YET...I'M JUST WRITING MY FIRST THOUGHTS DOWN.
3.00PM...NU SWIMMING...I'VE BOUGHT MYSELF AN ENGLISH NEWSPAPER...HAPPY...I AM!
4.30PM...BACK IN CAR...NU STILL DRIPPING.
5.10PM...BACK AT OUR CHALET.
6.00PM...BEANS ON TOAST...WONDERFUL.
8.30PM...PHONED PAULINE.
9.00PM...WATCHING FILM...JODIE FOSTER...THE BRAVE ONE.


13.2.08.
11.15AM...RESTLESS NIGHT...TOO HOT...COULDN'T SLEEP.
11.35AM...CUPPA TEA.
11.55AM...SHOWER.
12.40PM...A LATE LATE BREAKIE...BACON AND TOMATO SANDWICH/CUPPA TEA.
1.50PM...NU GONE FOR A SWIM...ME READING ANOTHER KEN FOLLETT NOVEL.
2.50PM...RELAXING ON VARANDA.
4.30PM...PREPARING VEGGIES...SPUDS/CAULI/CARROTS...LOOKING FORWARD TO LAMB TONIGHT.
6.00PM...THIS IS WHAT I CALL A GOOD MEAL...PUT TOGETHER BY MY GIRLIE AND ME.
6.30PM...WONDERFUL...APART FROM THE GRAVY...BIT SALTY!...ACTUALLY A WHOLE LOT TOO SALTY!...BUT AS YOU WELL KNOW BY NOW...I'M NOT ONE TO MOAN!
7.30PM...WASHING UP DONE...TV NEWS ON...OZ PRIME MINISTER KEV RUDD SAYING SORRY TO THE ABORINALS...NOT A LOT GOOD ON OZ TV.
9.00PM...WHISKEY FOR ME...BRANDY FOR NU.
9.25PM...FOUR INCHED LEGGED SPIDER ON VARANDA!
10.15PM...TIME FOR BED.


14.2.08.
9.30AM...SLEPT A BIT BETTER THAN LAST NIGHT...NEED A CUPPA.
9.50AM...CUPPA TEA...PLACED NU'S VALANTINE'S CARD ON TABLE.
10.10AM...SHOWER.
10.30AM...NU'S NOTICED CARD...BUT SHE HASN'T GOT ME ONE!...WELL I SUPPOSE WE HAVE NEARLY BEEN MARRIED A YEAR NOW...SO...WELL I SUPPOSE ITS OK...OH WELL.
11.10AM...BACON AND TOMATO SANDWICH/COFFEE.
12.05PM...IN CAR...HEADING FOR MADOURAH.
12.30PM...STOP OF AT SECRET BAY...THATS NOT SO SECRET...I MEAN THERES SIGNS EVERYWHERE FOR IT...PERHAPS THEY SHOULD RENAME IT OPEN SECRET!
1.50PM...BACK IN CAR HEADING FOR MADOURAH.
2.20PM...FISH AND CHIPS...BETTER THAN THE LAST LOT.
3.00PM...WALKING THE SHOPPING MALL.
3.20PM...HAIR DRESSERS...[HAIR SCALPERS].
3.50PM...OH WELL IT'LL GROW AGAIN...NU HAD HERS DONE TOO...IT LOOKS ALRIGHT.
4.20PM...BACK IN CAR...ONLY HAD TWO HOURS FREE PARKING.
5.10PM...ON VARANDA...BEER IN HAND.
6.00PM...SCRAMBLED EGG ON TOAST/CUPPA TEA.
7.00PM...SHOWER...GOD MY HAIR FEELS REAL SHORT!
8.00PM...ANIMATED CARTOON FILM...POLAR EXPRESS...AUSSIE TV?...ITS AN XMAS FILM!...PERHAPS GLOBAL WARMING AS GOT TO THEM.


15.2.08.
10.10AM...FEELING LAZY...GETTING LAZIER.
10.30AM...CUPPA TEA.
10.55AM...SHOWER.
11.35AM...COFFEE/BACON AND TOMATO SANDWICH...GOT LOADSA BACON...DIDN'T REALIZE I'D BOUGHT SO MUCH TILL I OPENED THE PACKET.
1.00PM...SHOPPING AT LOCAL MALL...JUST OUTSIDE FREMANTLE...THERES A CHEAP/DISCOUNT STORE THERE...BOUGHT THE EAGLES GREATEST HITS...I HOPE THE CD WORKS IN THE VAN!?
3.30PM...BACK AT ABODE...BEER ON VARANDA...NO SIGN OF HARRY THE SPIDER.
5.00PM...WALK DOWN TO LOCAL BEACH...LOTS OF FOLK FISHING OF THE JETTY...SIGN SAYS BEWARE OF SNAKES...NU WIDE EYED!
6.40PM...FOOD TIME...MINCE MEAT/ONION/CAULI/CARROTS/MASH SPUD...ITS GREAT BEING ABLE TO COOK FOR YOURSELF...I NEVER WANNA SEE ANOTHER RESTAURANT AGAIN...NO DOUBT I SHALL.
7.30PM...FEEL FED...FEEL FULL...BETTER HAVE A WHISKEY.
8.00PM...BLACK AND WHITE FILM ON TV...OZ TV...OUCH.


16.2.08.
9.30AM...HAD A LATE NIGHT...NEED A CUPPA.
10.00AM...SHOWER.
10.40AM...BACON/TOMATO SANDWICH/COFFEE.
11.15AM...NOT MUCH HAPPENING TODAY...A BIT LIKE YESTERDAY.
12.50PM...STILL NOT ALOT HAPPENING...GOTTA GO TO ATM...NEED SOME GROCERIES.
2.30PM...DONE MY DUTIES FOR THE DAY...GONNA HAVE A BEER.
4.00PM...THE ROGUE ASSASSIN...A WELL ENJOYABLE FILM.
6.00PM...READING...KEN FOLLETT GETTING SLOWLY PREDICTABLE.
7.00PM...CHEESE/TOMATO SANDWICH...SULTANA/CUSTARD CAKE!


17.2.08.
9.00AM...TIME TO SHAKE A LEG...OFF TO COTTSLOE BEACH TODAY.
9.20AM...SHOWER.
9.35AM...CUPPA TEA.
9.55AM...BACON/MUSHROOM SANDWICH...COFFEE.
11.00AM...IN CAR HEADING FOR COTTSLOE BEACH.
12.05PM...WATCHING SURFERS...TRYING TO GET MY TUMMY BROWNED...THE SUN KEEPS MISSING IT...ALTHOUGH ITS ONE OF MY BIGGEST BITS!
2.40PM...BACK IN CAR...GONNA GO TO A MORE CENTRAL BEACH.
3.10PM...PARKED UP...SITTING ON BENCH WITH CAN OF COKE...BEACH PACKED.
4.10PM...FEELING HUNGRY...GONNA HEAD HOME.
6.15PM...LAMB/CAULI/CARROTS/MASHED SPUD.
7.00PM...TV NEWS...LIVERPOOL GOT KNOCKED OUTA FA CUP BY BARNSLEY.
8.50PM...ELECTRIC GONE OFF...I WAS ON THE PHONE TO WILLIAM AT THE TIME.
10.00PM...IN EXTREME PAIN...BURNT TOPS OF LEGS ON BEACH...NU HAVING TO RUB AFTER SUN CREAM ON...AS I SAY...EXTREME PAIN!

SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT!

BYE FOR NOWZ.